Love them the way they want to be loved.

To this end, Gary Chapman in his book 'The Five Love Languages' explores just that. There is even a questionaire that you and your partner can complete to find out their love language/s.

‘Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your spouse understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other.

Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.

My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. However, there may be numerous dialects. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love,” because it’s quite a different thing.’ - Gary Chapman.

Once again being 'other' centerd is explored. Loving them the way they want to be loved. You could be sending flowers (ya right) and all she wants is for you to hang up the laundry.

Me me me I I I

In a world of ‘me, me, me’ and ‘I, I, I’ we are on the verge of disaster. But this paper as its movement depicts is not about doom and gloom. Rather it’s about turning it all around starting with right here, right now, with you and with me.To describe the essence of - be ‘other’ centered, let us look at it’s opposite. That is; ‘self centered’. That which serves ME, my ideal (as exclusive from yours), and my group (as exclusive from yours).We need another paradigm. What if George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden or Hitler were ‘other’ centered.What if all murderers and rapists and child abusers were ‘other’ centered rather than driven by immediate gratification and self-centeredness - that which serves ME, my ideal (as exclusive from yours), and my group (as exclusive from yours).

We need to think tribal - ly again. In 'I am', because 'you are' terms. 'Every man is an island', is a toxic way of looking at life and any wonder we have what we refer to as 'the human condition'. The human condition? Existential aloneness?

'We', is the only way that embraces me, and you, and the future generations that are going to have little resource to work with, and little natural product.

I say bring the old people out of the 'camps' and make them part of the home again.